The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to incredibly difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in city locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay men wish to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry this link with common sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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