The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay guys wish to discover from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is visit very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by This Site paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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