The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on have a peek at this site the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in city areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay males want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

However, North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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