The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near to and bonded with our sex click now partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an check my reference RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that numerous of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in cities, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay males wish to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

have a peek at this site North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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